Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Wednesday Morning - The Life of a Writer

Coffee, coffee, coffee. Up till 3 a.m. with a painful manuscript. I need coffee. I used to think having someone else around to make coffee was the only possible inducement for remarriage, but then I discovered those pots you could program. Now my life is complete. Now I can stay up till 3 a.m. without a partner or significant other moaning, “Whacha doin’, hon?” and flicking the lights off and on as a hint. Some people just like sleep too much.

Coffee. Please. I can’t find the pot. My eyes feel like burning gumballs. My tushie hurts from too many hours in the computer chair. I really need some good, hot coffee. And a shower. I could really go for a shower except I know another chapter is just waiting to get out. My muse Persephone says it is. And if I don’t listen to Persephone she cracks that whip of hers and nails me with a stiletto. OUCH!

Laundry. I need to do laundry. Is it really cheating to wear the same underwear two days in a row? Really? Just this once. I mean, I only have a few more chapters to go. How many days is that?

That’s not fit behavior for a diva? I’m not a diva. I’m just a multi-pubbed author if I can get this puppy to the editor by the end of the month like she asked me to. She’s a pussycat compared to Persephone, though. It’s WHAT? No, that’s not possible. It wasn’t that close to the end of the month last time I looked. Of course, that might have been last week.

Bills. I need to pay bills. I actually have a letter from my broker telling me I can take $3,000 out of my account and I haven’t sent it because I don’t want to take the time to check the little boxes. It would take 30 seconds, tops. I also have to sign it? Too much time. The bills can wait. Even the one for $600 for heating oil when it’s not even winter yet. Especially that one.

It’s the phone. God help me, the phone. It’s my 84 year old neighbor calling ME to ask if I’M all right. She says she hasn’t seen me lately. Of course she hasn’t seen me lately. My tushie is glued to the chair with Super Glue. My neighbors act like I’m one of those frail elderly people you should check on when the weather gets too hot or cold. They know. My frail elderly neighbors are going great guns. If it weren’t for them, I might be dead. On the other hand, if my friend Nancy is right and we all reincarnate anyway, I can come back in my next life to see if anybody read me. There’s no sign of it in this life. I haven’t sold a book on Amazon in thirty-eight days. Of course, I haven’t had a new release in a lot longer than that and I won’t if I don’t get back to the keyboard.

Coffee, I need it. Now. Steaming hot and a lot of it.

IF I DON’T FIND THE FREAKING COFFEE POT, THERE’S GOING TO BE REAL TROUBLE IN THIS HOUSE!!!

15 comments:

  1. Very entertaining post, Miriam. I feel your pain. Best of luck with getting your book done on time.

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  2. Miriam you are hysterical! lol, so get your butt back in that chair, I don't care if its numb or not and pen that next best seller!!!!!

    Good luck!I hope your muse isn't too brutal with you!

    xoxo Andrea

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  3. Miriam

    A fun post. I understand perfectly what you mean. You're lucky to have such concerned neighbors. If I lived alone, I'd be a recluse, writing all day. I know it. It's so easy to forget everything around us. Finish your story, then go out and enjoy yourself.

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  4. Oh, Miriam, I so feel your pain. My last release was before Christmas and my latest novel was rejected twice by the same editor. It gets harder and harder to stay focused on my newest work still in first draft stage. I started this morning off having to take a starving puppy to the vet to be neutered. He woke up earlier than I'd hoped and was hell bent on finding food, which he couldn't have. And once I got home, I had to complete all my regular morning tasks, laundry, workout, dishes, cleaning the bathroom. After that, the last thing I felt like doing was sitting down at the keyboard. I had to force myself to eke out 1000 words.

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  5. Thank you all, ladies. It sounds like there's enough writing pain to go around! For once, I just had to ventilate. I did find the coffee pot, by the way. It was in the oven.

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  6. I lived on Cheez-its and microwave popcorn for a week editing one of my books. Hope you find your coffee pot, Miriam!

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  7. Hi Miriam,
    A truer post, I've never read. If not for caffeine and chocolate, I would have perished long ago. My eyes feel like they've been polished with sandpaper about 90% of the time from staring at the computer screen and right now the sales...well, what sales? Writers like us do not write for the money, that's for sure. LOL
    Persephone sounds like a hard task master. OK break's over, back to the keyboard.

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  8. OMG, loved it, Miriam! Right now, my muse has my days and nights so mixed up, I don't think they'll ever be right again.

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  9. Since it's the afternoon now and closing in on the evening in my neck of the woods, how did you day go? I'm glad you found your coffee. Things had to be better after that. lol

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  10. Thanks, Becca! Yeah, there's nothing like a muse who's mad at you. Shudder. By the way, have you tried chocolate pancakes? Washed down by coffee, of course. That Dr. Pepper and Hershey bar trick wasn't bad, either.

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  11. Karen, doing somewhat better, thanks. Staring at the screen and waiting for Persephone to come back.

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  12. Good luck, Mary. My muse definitely is not into that bio-rhythm thing either.

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  13. I hear ya, Miriam! Writers lives are crazy. What we put up with for our craft. Chocolate and pop are my favorite. :) Glad you found your pot. Thanks for sharing this!

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  14. Hey, girl... Remember me? You see, I too have been stuck in the chair. Just completed my 2nd book in three months. Take that, you silly muse!!! It won't be long, dear friend. Now I'm on a mission to NY... 100 agents down, and 654 more to go... :o)

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